February headlines

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Three students suspended for molesting priest

Wisconsin to bring back sweatshops

Ordinance proposed to limit the number of beauty shops and nail salons in South Philadelphia

Comcast and Verizon merge; public applauds no more annoying commercials

Computer outscores humans on “The Dating Game”

U.S. supports Internet freedom, bans federal employees from WikiLeaks site

GOP supports teacher accountability, less regulations on Wall Street

New military policy for gays: DADTDI (don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t implement)

Court rules Sheen and Lohan may marry, but offspring prohibited

James Patterson fails to write a novel in February; string of 56 consecutive months broken.

Knox faces uphill battle in run for mayor; most voters think he invented Knox gelatin.

Reason why Vick canceled Oprah appearance: He suffers from dry tear ducts.

Mubarak named contributor on Fox News

Lady Gaga claims Grammys stunt was real; singer says she spent seven weeks in incubator and was actually hatched from egg

Manuel in salary dispute with Phils, wants to be paid more than Kyle Kendrick.

U.S. conservatives deny being against democracy for Egypt, so long as voters make the right choice.

Arizona lawmaker wants to amend concealed weapons law regarding churches. New law would allow guns at altar (shotgun weddings?)

GOP selection committee refuses support for Rizzo; councilman plans to run for office in Aruba.

Review reader calls columnist a schmuck; columnist asks if that means he’s getting invited to dinner.

New biography on recluse J.D. Salinger contains 280 blank pages

Flyers coach fired despite success, failed to call owner Mr.

Pa. senator refused gas industry offer of Super Bowl tickets; preferred free trips to Bolshoi Ballet.

Literary find of century, reader who understands Finnegan’s Wake.

Non-story: Possible L&I kickbacks and payoffs.

‘Two and a Half Men’: Art imitating life.

Columnist finally agrees with Palin; ‘Santorum a knuckle-dragging neanderthal’

TV spinoffs gain popularity, expect ‘It’s Always Sunny In New York, Miami, Boston, etc., etc.’

Caramel coloring in cola may cause cancer, but soda fans protest clear cola would be government overreach

SEPTA hero: Youth gives up front seat to handicapped senior. Only following the signs, he claims, not really a hero

Phils force ticket-plan holders to buy exhibition game; claim big demand for meaningless March game with Pirates, cite attractive interstate rivalry.

Freedom protests spread throughout Middle East, Fox decries increase in gas prices

Reader seeks news outlet without quote from Ed Rendell

Reader seeks news outlet without photo of Phils starting rotation

Top restaurants admit serving offal, patrons cry ‘Awful!’

Historian claims ancient Greeks discriminated against straight citizens, maintained all gay army

Funds for public TV slashed, fans fear no outlet left for Lawrence Welk reruns

Survey shows most Americans think British films need subtitles

Job loss tied to energy drinks; more energy equals more productivity means fewer employees

Unions seek to ban energy drinks at workplace

N.J. Gov. Christie denies childhood experience reason for hostility to teachers; reportedly was kept after school and denied cookies and milk.

Obituary page reveals nine of 10 South Philadelphians have nicknames, Rocky is tops followed by Sonny. SPR

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