Off the top of my head


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For a while, Penn State had become a feel-good story in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child abuse scandal. The school made administrative changes, accepted the NCAA sanctions and got itself a coach in Bill O’Brien who persuaded most of his key players not to transfer. The team overachieved. I’m not feeling so good about the feel-good story anymore.


True, O’Brien decided to stick with Penn State and not take a pro coaching job. However, it now appears as if O’Brien used the interviewing process as leverage to get his salary bumped up and to extract some fringe benefits for his football program. He also seems to have negotiated a better buyout deal on his contract that will undoubtedly make him more attractive in the future should he decide he wants a pro coaching job. It looks very much like O’Brien’s decision to stay at Penn State was more opportunism than self-sacrifice on behalf of the team and the university. Enter Gov. Tom Corbett, whose approval rating is right there with Congress and Brussel sprouts.


Corbett announced he is suing the NCAA on behalf of the state. The governor wants the NCAA sanctions against Penn State overturned even though the university and Corbett agreed to the sanctions. Now he says he was only waiting for the football season to end so he didn’t disrupt the season. Corbett has decided to take the action as he is gearing up for re-election.


You would think Corbett would have enough to be concerned about with the State’s high unemployment rate and the cruel cuts he has levied on the safety net for Pennsylvania’s most vulnerable citizens. Instead what Corbett has done is bring the disgrace of the Sandusky scandal back into the news at a time when it looked as if the university was going to turn the corner. Penn State isn’t part of the lawsuit, but suddenly finds itself thrust into Corbett’s political aspirations. …


Donald Trump is back with more birth certificate news. He has responded to a challenge by comedian Bill Maher who offered $5 million if Trump could prove he is not the offspring of one of his parents having sex with an orangutan. Trump has provided his birth certificate and has demanded Maher to pay up. I believe the Bronx Zoo forged Trump’s birth certificate. Think about La Donald’s strange orange hair. In all fairness to Trump, orangutans have a better sense of irony. …


Anti-abortion advocates are frustrated because abortion is constitutional. What to do, what to do? The strategy has involved making it more difficult to get an abortion. Here are some suggestions Corbett might want to consider before allowing a woman to have an abortion:


1) She must be isolated in a room with a TV that has only has the religious cable channel ETWN.


2) The abortion can only take place in a trailer with candlelight and be presided over by a legally blind midwife.


3) She must read Jenny McCarthy’s “Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic.” I watched Jenny on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” and she almost drove me into a confessional.


In addition to Pennsylvania, seven states in the Deep South are considering enacting these requirements into law. The South also is considering requiring the woman to listen to 48 hours of Toby Keith prior to qualifying for an abortion. Polls indicate 98 percent of women in such cases would opt for having the baby. …


I resent the criticism leveled at 73-year-old sportscaster Brent Musberger. In case you missed it, Musberger openly ooohed and aaahed as the TV camera showed the girlfriend of the Alabama quarterback, a former Miss Alabama. I want to remind folks that we 70-something folks can still admire great art even if we can’t paint like we used to. Actually, I skipped the game and stared at a freeze frame of this beauty the rest of the night. The real insult is why do quarterbacks always get the girl? Are these women as shallow as we men? …


How about all this fuss raised about President Barack Obama’s nominee for Secretary of State, Chuck Hagel? Hagel once ranted against the tremendous clout of the pro-Israel lobby in Congress. Hagel called it the “Jewish” lobby and subsequently apologized because some viewed the term as anti-Semitic. The Israel lobby is the accurate terminology because it is not restricted to Jews. The lobby also is composed of non-Jews, especially Christian evangelicals who see Israel as key to the biblical prediction of The End of Days. As if to prove his point, Hagel recently caved to the lobby and swore his unqualified support for the State of Israel.


I love Israel, but I don’t even give my “unqualified support” to the government in this country. In fact, there is more dissent in Israel about their politics than here at home where even the slightest deviation from the Netanyahu government’s policies is considered heresy. You think Israeli politicians have to take an oath to provide unqualified support for every position of the U.S. government?


I don’t think so.

Contact the South Philly Review at editor@southphillyreview.com.

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