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Generally speaking, Hollywood remakes are something of an epidemic. Just last week, I learned updates of “My Fair Lady,” “Alien” and (gasp!) “The Wizard of Oz” have all been confirmed. Some classics just shouldn’t be touched; 1981’s camp-tastic cult fave “Clash of the Titans,” however, was begging to be remade as its primitive, stop-motion effects are antiquated. Directed by French action maestro Louis Letterier, the new “Clash” certainly retrofits and expands upon the popcorn pageantry of the original, but it leaves much to be desired.
Once again, we find ourselves following the defiantly heroic quest of Perseus (action-hero-of-the-moment Sam Worthington), the half-earthly, half-heavenly son of Zeus (a glistening Liam Neeson). Thirsty for vengeance after his adoptive family is murdered at the ashen hands of Hades (Ralph Fiennes), Perseus becomes the poster boy for the war the citizens of Argos have waged against the gods, who’ve turned tyrannical and denied the mortal’s basic necessities. To serve his and the Argosians’ causes, the dashing demigod will have to go toe-to-slithery-toe with giant scorpions, Medusa, and the Kraken, a sea beast the size of Mt. Olympus.
The international cast, which also features Denmark’s Mads Mikkelsen and England’s Gemma Arterton, ably delivers the largely cheese-free material (there’s no forced comic relief or asinine one-liners), but the performances are nevertheless vacuous, and none more so than that of Worthington, who no longer has the majesty of “Avatar” to distract from his limited acting abilities.
The intermittently impressive effects fed the appetite of my inner child, but the production design is stagy, and the torturously built-up reveal of the Kraken is ultra-disappointing, with Letterier’s hyperactive camera never allowing us to see the monster in all its tentacular glory.
And for the gods’ sakes, if you truly can’t resist this swords-and-sandals affair, don’t see it in 3-D. The glasses add nothing and darken the images by about 40 percent, casting a shadow over an already lackluster film.
Clash of the Titans
PG-13
Two-and-a-half reels out of four
Now playing in area theaters
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
R
Now Available
A gritty, galvanizing and richly textured drama set in 1980s Harlem, West Philly native Lee Daniels’ Precious focuses on a girl who’s obese, poverty-stricken, illiterate, beaten at home, pregnant again by her father and HIV-positive.
As the tight-lipped title character, breakout star Gabourey Sidibe gives a terrific, transformative debut performance, and as her venomous mother, comedienne Mo’Nique delivers the best performance of 2009.
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